Be the change

I love how people are taking this self-isolation to spread love around social media or their community. Cutting out hearts and pasting on windows, writing fun nice words of encouragement to others, being there for others (albeit at least 6 ft away). Maybe you’re thinking, I can hardly keep my own mind sane, how can I take the time to spread love and support for others?? Let’s take a look.

I am huge believer that you get what you give. You put out what you take in. If you surround yourself with critical, judging people…. guess what???? YOU become critical and judgmental too (shocker, right?)

GOOD NEWS IS! It goes both ways! If you start to ignore the bullshit and surround yourself with positive messages and people that help propel you toward bigger and better things – you start to reflect this back to the world around you as well!

That’s great…. But how do I do that? What can I do to help others? I am so glad you asked….

  1. Love and respect yourself first. The reason we are so critical toward others, is because we are so critical of ourselves. You can’t offer something to others that you don’t have for yourself. If you have no love inside yourself FOR yourself, there is no way you can offer that to someone else.
  2. Be confident in your choices. Your decisions and choices you make will very likely differ than your mothers, your mother-in-law’s, or your friends…. And THAT’S OKAY! [ how boring of a world would it be, if we were all made with the same mold ]. Be confident that you are doing what’s best for YOU and YOUR family, or running your business, or spending your money or time. You can’t champion/support/encourage someone on their choices if you can’t confidently stand behind your choices.
  3. Give grace. We all need it and we all mess up. Show me someone who doesn’t and I’ll show you a hypocrite and liar. You will mess up or someone you know will mess up (and I don’t mean make choices that you don’t agree with, but flat out made a mistake)…. Rather than come down critical on them or shame them, offer forgiveness and grace – the same that you would like given to you if the rolls were reversed.
  4. Have empathy. Put yourself in their shoes. Give them the benefit of the doubt. It’s so easy to go through life and only think about how I feel, how am I doing, how is this situation going to affect me… ME, ME, ME, ME. Our society has slowly been steering us to become more and more selfish. Let’s all flip the switch and extend those worries and frustrations and think about others. Cashier at the store ringing you up slower than you want? Or someone cut you off in traffic? Do you allow situations like that to ruin your day? Do you allow those encounters to change your mood – the do you bring that mood home? Try putting yourself in the shoes of those (cashier or guy who cut you off)…. Maybe they were given bad news earlier that day, maybe something kept them up at night and they’re not in their full head, you have no idea what other people might be going through, so please – PLEASE – just show some empathy.

If you want people to champion you, champion them. If you give what you want to get, you will certainly get it – and MORE than you ever expected or envisioned for yourself.

Where do I start? You got to where you are by doing what you’ve done – you can’t get to where you want to go by doing the same thing. So, that means change. You’ve got to make some small changes in your daily routine or mindset or habits to shift toward the light. You don’t need to upset the apple cart or go balls-to-the-walls and do a full 180° – you just need to make one small change at a time.

  • Try a podcast or audio book on your drive home from work – something that will encourage you, motivate you, put you in a better frame of mind.
  • Be openminded – do you ever have lunch with someone and after you just feel crappy. You start to second guess your life, your job, your decisions? Rewind to the conversations you had at lunch. Was it that their { negative } personality was coming down on you? Or perhaps, they were asking the tough questions that really made you think about where you are in life. Of these options, one is one to shy away from – negative personality…. The other, maybe you need to lean into that more – ask the tough questions. Life’s too short to live on autopilot and go through the motions. If you are not 100% happy with where you are, YOU are responsible for changing that.
  • Recognize your triggers – are you one to get annoyed at even the smallest inconvenience? Is someone on your favorite treadmill at the gym and that ruins your day…. Is something that minor worthy of holding that kind of power over you? Ask yourself why it’s such a big deal. Maybe you need to learn to go with the flow; or perhaps something earlier that day put you in a mood and you were looking forward to a ‘perfect gym experience’ to get you back on track and that guy – the one on the treadmill – ruined it.

Let’s be honest, YOU ruined it. No one can make you feel something or put you in a mood – that is 100% on you and the sooner that you come to terms with controlling your emotions and owning your mindset, the closer you are to making the shift toward a better life.

I know this is hard. Change is hard. But so is standing still. I’ve been listening to more business/leadership things lately and one value that is common and that I am drawn to is this….

if you’re not growing, you’re going…

Meaning if you aren’t making continuous effort to better yourself (be more healthy/active, be a better partner/friend, be a better communicator, you get the point) – it’s not a good fit to stick around this environment. Sure, this is harsh. Is this too black and white? While there is grace for the shades of grey (I wouldn’t have empathy if I didn’t realize that) the general rule of thumb is keep growing/keep learning/keep going forward in life.

What’s your thoughts??? If you want to add to the conversation, I’d love to hear from you…. let’s connect and build a tribe together!